Hi Loafer/Joey, thanks for the advice.

I think my thread has gone out of proportion from my initial intent.

I'd agree that no one likes their ego to be challenged or for anyone to be in their face  ;-)  There are those or most are insecure(I'm one as well) but sometimes situation occurs where one has to be cruel to be kind. Perhaps I like giving others advices when they don't
When friends who are down, believe me...I make them laugh, give them the awareness of the causes or make them feel better..I don't rub it in further. So, I am compassionate and a friend in that way. If a friend needs help, I help when I can...I rarely ignore or decline. It's when I need help from them, they are either not available Or somehow, situation doesn't present itself for them to help me. I've had friends who were/are meaningful to me although I don't know if I am the same to them since I've realised that they don't share everything of themselves with me but with others more. Maybe it's my perception,maybe. I still struggle with that at times since I think, I might have caused karma or from my past life as well. Anyhow, it's all good since it's now looking towards the future in being a better person. 

I could go on and on about this...but I don't see any point in this. Human beings who aren't aware causes pain for others basically. So, we need more of those are the opposite. There are those who aren't from KH too 

Anyhow, I appreciate your time and kindness and you can be regarded as my spiritual guide...to contemplate on things.

Thanks~ Cheers!

dear funkyK, that's exactly what I was 2 years ago! I had a bunch of friends that meant a lot to me, and although they meant a lot to me, I was being sidelined and kept in the dark of many things and treated like a stranger. Eventually I got upset and confronted them and they ditched me simply. My so called best friend back then would always be around when I dont need him, and would always stand up for other friends when they need him but when I need him to help me thru with things he'd always be mysteriously busy. He'd rather go out alone than to talk to me and make me feel better. Looking back, it was more or less a mixture of my unrealistic expectations along with his hipocrisy that broke the friendship. All along he tried to be someone I could depend on for help and support when he's more or less trying to meet my expectations rather than being a sincere friend. he'd always tell me I was wrong in almost everything I did and if I didint follow what he said, he'd get upset and find ways to get back at me. Eventually after talks with a dharma friend I realized that I was being controlled and took my own stand and there and then the whole friendship thing went kablooey.

I no longer feel any hatred or unhappiness, in fact I thank them because if they did not do something like that I wouldnt have woke up to the default nature of people. I just be wary of such characters and not allow them to control me.

Those who are heading for their keyboards to blatt out a reminder of emptiness would do well to read the last gatha of the Diamond Sutra.  This reality may seem like a lightening flash or a bubble in a stream but, like it or not, it will always keep seeming.  We may as well have some fun with it.

Love to all,

Scott

now there, play nice. we dont wanna upset people, do we?

I have the dvd of The Dalai Lama's teachings on The Four Noble Truths.

I have five sets of teaching of the Tsem Tulk on dvd.

Like a schmuck, I've been leaving them on my dvd pile (which if knocked down could cause a life threatening avalanche).

All the Tibetan classic shrines I've seen have had the wood block texts on or near the shrine.  I conclude that these dvd's are of the same caliber and on to my shrine they go.  I have no wood block texts,  nor do I want them as I am utterly innocent of written Tibetan, but those dvd's are enshrined.

Where else could one put them?  On the shelf with Madonna or Peggy Lee or Maria Callas?  I think not.

It's 8:30 in the evening.  Do you know where your dvd's are?

Scott

I only have one dvd by Rinpoche due to financial constraints. It's at my dharma book shelf since I share my altar with my family and its kinda overcrouded with various buddha statues.

Dear funkyK,

Don't worry, should all of your friends in the place your stays leave you, you will have friends in KH and in this Forum.   

But, I don't think all your friends will leave you when you have a beautiful, friendly,warm, honest, sincere, considerate, caring, loving personality. So I am not worry your friend will leave you forever, in fact, there will be more new friends in the corner waiting to be close to you.

You are fine, I know you already know the answer to your problem.

Lastly,

In the 8 verses of thought transformation, (Lojong)

(Verse 2.)
Wherever I am and whomever I'm with,
May I view myself as lowest of all;
And from the bottom of my heart,
May I cherish others and consider them supreme.

This to lower your mind (ego) so that you won't give 'CRAP' to your friends when you wants to. Why hurts others' feeling, because you already know very well at the end it will hurts you too, worst if the person is someone who you love.  I am not saying you should remain silent forever, but, most of the time we know it's best keep silent. Why, people are not stupid nowadays, they can think for themselves unless they are suffer from depression or drug, which will be affected heavily by the mood swing, which can be very dangerous, other than those, they really can think once not affected by depression or drug, just like you can think for yourself. You are a very smart and kind person. So, remember this, don't be so hard on yourself and others. ok?


Best regards,
Loafer...

wow, that's really good advice there! But unfortunately I must add most people nowadays are not comfortable with having their ego challenged i.e. being told they are wrong. Some are just not up to facing reality. Most young people nowadays dont really think or meditate but rather pretend that bad and unhappy things do not exist. They just like what makes them happy. If that friend means a lot to you, try to understand his or her nature and try your best to put up with it. I know some of my friends are pretty much insecure people, but I dont tell them straight that they are insecure or try to help them when they dont need any, or rub anything in when they are down.

But of course, you will always have friends in KH and here in this forum, like what loafer said because we accept you as you are! Still, it dosent mean you should stop trying to be a better person to yourself and others.

Hi Joey, thanks for your time in the advice.
Well, I won't disagree with you totally on what you've pointed out. here's the thing, I have advised a friend before out of wanting to kill himself and giving up on his love for journalism. I have also advised him when he had problems with his girl. Out of no expectation, I was somehow dissed from our appointment one day when I've repeatedly asked him if he was meeting me. This is very disrespecful to me and I had to give him a piece of my mind. When I need to speak to someone, I'd call him but he'd sigh when he receives my call. He's completely not called me even when I've given him missed calls before. So, you tell me...what was it I did that caused him to be this way towards me? Generally, human  beings who aren't aware/selfish and what not, would only remember negative things more......So, I'll accept that but I'm sore that I can forgive and be nice to him again BUT I don't think he can. Well, I'd like to think that my sarcasm/teasing is something like Rinpoche's and that's why I'm kind of hooked to his humor and..........his teachings online of course. I can tell you that not many people appreciate or take such humor/sarcasm/teasing. If you ask me why, it's because they have different perceptions. People prefers want to hear not what they need but want.

If you listen to Rinpoche's teaching, he tells you what you need to hear and not want. For me, honesty is the best policy and I really don't know how to run around the bush...I try to at times. Now, I learn to be softer but it's hard.

I've always cared what others think and feel...for the past 10+ years of my life. They only care about themselves most times...honestly. Took me a long time to get over this, I'm fine with it now. I am made to feel as though I'm the one with the effort. Then, I self implode because confrontation isn't always allowed. I look into things in a negative way thereafter. I thank god for giving me and showing me the little wisdom that I have to get back into things in a positive light.

I never said I didn't trust my instinct...think you need to re-read my email. ;-)
Sure, I'm afraid of not being able to commit to a religion. The thing is I can't force myself to do something that I'm not ready for....in time, I believe I will get to a right path for my spiritual strength.

Anyhow, I'm not a doo-doo to think wearing chakras is solve it all. The talisman is like panadol. I've listened to Rinpoche's audio. Thanks very much for giving me the answer which I need on which chakra to use.

Thanks for the link Loafer. My banter with Joey would have the answer for you as well. I'm kinda hooked to Rinpoche's teachings...

to tell you the truth, you really do sound like me before I met Rinpoche. And I still am a no-nonsense person nowadays. Guess it takes one to know one :p and of course, Rinpoche is, after all a lama and he has certain language skills that does not hurt and enough awareness to know when he is starting to hurt others. We do not. I still go around hurting some people due to me being straightforward, but those people eventually see that my intentions were good and didint mind.

about spiritual practice, you wont be ready as long as you think that way. You are ready when you are. Most people who engage in spiritual practice are people who have seen and throughly understood suffering.

Hi Ninje, thanks for your kind thoughts/prayer/advice.

Shift house?Can't be done I'm afraid ;-)
The family home or our residential area is now slightly safer with the employment of a security company.They'd do their rounds periodically ard the area.

Well, I don't want to go into this whole karma thingie although it is I suppose. Going into religion is out of the question for my mum as I've tried asking her.
 
As for me being robbed, karma again? I think so but I should have trusted my instincts as I saw the 2 donkeys riding pillion coming towards me but didn't cross my mind that I would be snatched of my mobile phone.Thank gawd it's only my mobile. As for me into religion, I've been asking myself that if I want to....there's resistance.

Create merits? Some of my friends don't want my help even when I offer...lol. Maybe it's because I tell them what they need to hear or that their perception of me is misunderstood?I've been through alot of those crap...now, a few who accepted me as I am are in better terms with me except the ones who ditched me, defensive of themselves,preferred sharing with male friends and those who have sensitive nature. I've learnt much from experiences with them and I should thank them in a way although there's sadness that things had happened. There has been good changes...quite vast.
 
Maybe I should see Rinpoche for divination purpose to find help in clearing my 'demons'...lol.

Opps....almost off topic. So, back to my question...which chakra should I get? I'm thinking Lama Tsongkapa and maybe Dzambala.
 

helping your friends isnt merits, but causing less mental pain to the people around you is meritorious. usually loss of friends is caused by lack of mindfulness and also you not caring about the feelings of others.

you not trusting your instincts: what is it caused by? mental habituations. mental habituations are karma. being resistant to being "religious"? being religious is to change yourself in a very deep way, which can be very painful, challenging and demanding, in order to be a better person. Are you afraid of that?

if I had a friend that tells me things that clearly shows that he does not understand me, I wouldnt approach that person for help either. I dont know you but from what you say, roughly I know how you are. Being through "crap" is bad if you let it influence your judgement. As Rinpoche always say, wrong experience reinforces wrong preception, and wrong preception causes more suffering to oneself and others.

and again, why go for chakras when you can actually do something to help change the cause for being robbed, which is lack of awareness? another cause for being robbed is to covert over the properties of others. If you're not aware, wearing 100 chakras wont protect you against being robbed.

You dont need a divination to help clear your demons, you need awareness and mindfulness.

Please do not use chakras as an easy way out of your problems. because they are not. They merely assist by reducing the causes and wont help if you keep creating the causes for such problems.

Chakra wise, Sengdongma would help as her chakra emits violent and quick energy which repels instances of robberies.

dear funkyX:

of failed friendships of your nature, I had a LOT of them. due to my lack of mindfulness and awareness as well as wrong preception, action and speech, I lost many. It used to affect me deeply but now after studying the dharma it didint bother me too much anymore, except that I remind myself to be more mindful to my friends.

As for your deceased cousin, helping spirits cross over isnt exactly something any tom dick harry can do, because spirits are merely people who are very disturbed due to the power of their bad karma. It takes a lot of metta (compassion) as well as wrathful (righteous) energy to subdue beings like that. It would be more logical to help humans like them such as people bitter from the hardships of life, bitterness and the inability to let go is one of the causes for one to take rebirth as a spirt, or people who are just dying to be a spirit (goths, go google, they even dress up like them! ) and so like humans, spirits whom you rub the wrong way will hate you. for humans, all you need to do is slip and do one small mistake for them to hate you for life, so it's the same with spirits.  So I really dont understand the prefrence.

As for the monk thing, there is something called tulku disease where if a tulku is prevented by his parents from being a monk or studying the dharma, he or she will not go very far in life. Most went insane or die young. So it is not good to speculate. If his family does not want to divulge the details, dont bother. Given the situation he passed away, it dosent sound like he went to a good state. Probally, like humans, the spirits are angry that he does not understand them yet tries to help.

Do more goods and dedicate to him and use that as a powerful reminder to practice the dharma.

Thanks Joey for your reply. Anyway, on your advice for my 1st question...

Well, the 'beings' could be no different in 'reality' but the 'forms' that these people saw are definitely different and SCARY, mind you...

I don't really know how they can treat a 10-feet high dark 'thing' with long limbs or a floating 'thing' with tongue long enough to touch the ground as another 'human being' 

These are but only two of the descriptions they told me... even though I didn't experience them myself, I was scared too!

I can still remembered how my cousin screamed from top floor of my brother's house (only two of us stayed in the house for some months), at the time I was watching TV on ground floor. She was trembled with scared and couldn't talk for quite a while. Surely we think that after 'seeing' many times over, my cousin should 'get used' to them but no, she can't. Each time 'they' appeared in totally different forms and very very frightening to our 'eyes' or perceptions.

We did some prayers and the 'thing' gone away. Anyway, last year, which is a few years later, our Indonesia maid told us she saw a 'thing' in the same top floor where she sleeps. But her description is different from what my cousin 'saw' before, so we guessed IT is a different 'one'. Since then the maid was so scared and would rather sleep on the floor in our living room. So, every night I did my prayers there (Migtsema & black tea offerings to Lord Setrap) for about a month and gave her a deity picture to keep. She is now not so afraid anymore.

Now, I wish I can give my cousin and the same others some 'advice' how to 're-act' upon 'seeing' these 'things'. They are normally really really scared... 

 

ask them to see ghosts as horribly disfigured people.if you see someone who is horribly disabled, i.e with no face would you run away or help that person? if you see someone involved in an accident with horrific wounds would you just run away? or brace your fear to save that person's life?

ghosts are like people too. they want happiness but only thing is that the wrong experience distorted their preception, causing them to take deformed bodies. If you understand ghosts correctly with lots of compassion, they will take a pleasant human appearance since what you see is actually more based on your fear.

Hi

Some people like to see ghosts movies but some others see real 'ghosts' 

I've known a few who can 'see' spirits and are very scared, at least for those moments... one is my cousin, one other is my aunt, another is my Indonesia maid and yet another one is my ex-colleague.

They have no reason to lie and there are no benefits in doing so. My cousin has been 'seeing' many different 'type' of 'ghosts' for as long as she can remembers; on banana trees when she was very very young, then during her relative's funeral; more recently, at my previous office, in my brother's house (top floor's room), at camping chalet, etc. Of course she does not 'sees' all the time but mostly if the place is quiet or deserted; sometimes she just 'senses' IT, not 'see'.

Then my ex-colleague, he said he saw mostly at nights on the roads, at quiet parking lots or even at mamak stalls. Whereas the Indonesia maid said she saw in my brother's house (Again! She told me she also 'sees' before at her hometown). As for my aunt, she 'sees' only occasionally but a few times are at her daughter's house in USA    Em... no discrimination in gender and nationality 

Now, my questions:

1. What should these people do at the moments they encounter 'spirits'?
2. Why are they having these 'special eyes'? What Buddhists explanation? (For curiosity only)

 

1) they should really treat the spirits as another human being, because in reality they are no diffrent than one.

2) it happens when your mind starts to include the energy spectrum of the spirit domain, enabling the mind to preceive its existence

okay now...lets not dwell in emptiness for a while...you guys can stop drinking off Vajrayogini's skullcup

Also, be careful of breaking the precept of teaching dharma to those who cannot understand. Some of the posts are pretty deep and yokoshiogatame might not understand all the ego stuff.

If you are attracted to a teacher, keep asking yourself why. Is it the teaching style? is it because he is able to unlock your heart? Or that he inspires you towards spiritual practice? Or just because having a guru is the "in" thing? Or that you want a rinpoche because you'd feel special?

it's time to shine the lamp into your face and interrogate yourself. I did my share on why I was drawn to Rinpoche.

I think you should have a chat with Rimpoche about balance.  Your preoccupation with wisdom, I'm suspecting, is vitiating your practice of compassion.

One needs both: the dorje is dopey without the bell, and vice versa.

Your dismissive attitude towards Rimpoche's bone family evidences neither compassion nor wisdom; it is, I submit, a symptom of a great propensity towards the error of nihilism.

Beware of straying from the Middle Way if you want to be happy.

Also:  tighten up your writing.  Your grammar is undisciplined.  Without a disciplined grammar, one cannot aspire to disciplined thought - and reducing all down to zero is a cop out.

Take the more difficult path:  try caring while in touch with emptiness.

Hint:  take a run at the Diamond Sutra.  More than one, and beware of conclusions, which, more of than not, are an excuse not to give a damn.

But do, please, have a chat with Rimpoche.  A tune up, as it were.

Be well,

Scott Hutton

Well, after all, this is a forum and it does take all kinds of people to work so Scott, its better to be a little more tolerant sometimes. Please be mindful of your mind when being critical with others. And anyway, it dosent really matter what Rinpoche's bone line or spiritual line is, as long as he is spreading the dharma. And he has mentioned this many times. You can use it as an inspiration, tho.

And sampa, please be mindful when posting, that the motivation behind you replying is not to inflate your own ego. I am sure you would have good intentions, but dismissing everything *isnt* exactly wise. We're all still in samsara. try to work from our level, ok?

I just hope everyone around will be wise enough to not let this place degenerate into an ego flaunting contest.

lit's affinity. You might have a strong connection with these two teachers in your past life.

what do you mean by human mala? a mala made out of barbie dolls?

that's gonna be hard to use.

or do you mean BONE malas? malas made out of human bones? no, those are not for impermanance, those are for certain wrathful practices, along with the bone apron and tighbone trumpet. I am not too sure but they are certainly not meant for ordinary people.

Sometimes, you should ask yourself why are you so critical of your teacher's outer appearance, because it would sometimes be your insecurities, whereby you want a "pure" teacher to flaunt to your friends and appease your insecurity. That will be a very huge obstacle in your practise and wisdom if you do not choose to eradicate it.

Hi Dharmaparis, thanks for your explanation on the Dharmapala / Dharma protectors. 

I have another question; from my humble knowledge of Buddhism, there are 6 realms of existence. So, these Dharmapalas like Setrap, a yaksha, and others mentioned in Setrap puja i.e. yama, mamo, etc. they belong to which realm? Demi-god? Gods (heavenly beings)? 

They are under the rule of the 4 heavenly kings. Setrap is a yaksha, based on his mantra. And so is Dzambala. yama, mamo are sub deities in this level. However, Setrap is enlightened and is actually Amithaba emating himself as a yakhsa.

I read in the 31 Planes of existence by the late Ven Suvanno, that Maras lives in  the 11th Heaven. They are the 'Devas wielding power over the creation of others' (Paranimmitavasavatti deva).

More details can be found in Zong Rinpoche's book about Chod. He has an entire section devoted to dicussing the Isodeva mara. Get that from an outlet or Kinokuniya KLCC.

And then, often people said there are ghosts, pontianak, toyol and such; which realm are these spirits belong to?  Are they in the hungry ghost realm? 

What about those animal spirits like snake spirits, tiger spirits 

Hopefully someone can give me these answers... 

p/s: not that they are important, these questions just popped up every now and then... 

They are under the hungry ghost realm, which are intermingled with the lower heavens, asura and human realms.