Well the question about compassion was because I feel that if I cultivate that sadness more and more I would end up being unable to function I think. If every day I woke up feeling so heavy and filled with sadness like that feeling I would be exhausted most of the time. So I am wondering how to familiarise myself with compassion. I can either cultivate this sadness or I can try another approach such as developing a mind that the best way to help others is to cultivate happiness and find how to experience happiness and liberation.

I was thinking about htis example. Suppose there is a hospital ward filled with people experiencing horrendous disease. If I sat in a chair in the centre of this ward imagining what they are experiencing and crying day and night how am I helping them? How can I say that is compassion when surely one who has compassion will not focus on sorrow. A doctor working day and night next door producing medicine is surely the one who has fully developed the wish for those to be free from their suffering. Maybe this doctor is very joyful as he knows the medicine works and he has the means to help I dont know. Maybe he keeps the sadness at bay so then he has the resources to be able to work long hours on the medicine. Maybe this is why Bodhissatvas focus on seeing the world as pure and everyone is a Buddha via Tantra...because then they do not feel overwhelmed by sorrow?

What I want to discuss is 2 confusions about how to proceed with my meditation.

Someone who I dont know personally died recently and I felt a feeling of sadness. The main feeling I felt was a wish that this persons parents and friends do not suffer extensively over a long period. These people are non Buddhists so I believed they would suffer a great deal. This thought filled me with sadness.
I then developed a question in my mind. Is this sadness a virtuous mind? Is this compassion or not? I concluded that if I felt like this every time someone was suffering because there are countless I would feel such a heavy sadness all the time. So my first question is, how do I proceed with my working on compassion? Is the correct feeling this heavy feeling or have I got it wrong? For example when your teacher Rinpoche sees the animals and knows there is these cruelties every moment does his compassion experience manifest as a heavy heart? Are all Dharmas minds of happiness or are there Dharmas that are minds of sadness?

The second question involves exchanging cherishing self with cherishing other. When I try to do this I feel like I am entering others worlds seeing what is important to them, how they feel, what offends them and what makes them feel comfortable and at ease. I concluded this was right so I tried to do this more and more. It feeling like others desires are my desires......but others desires are very ordinary so my mind is suddenly filled with many worldly things, as if I have taken on all their hang ups, issues, burdens. What was important to others wasnt important to me when I thought only about my own viewpoint. But now others needs are important and so extensive.  The question is am I going in the right direction or am I missing an important aspect of this practice? When I was self orientated soley because I was happy everything was ok. Now I am unhappy about a lot of things because other people are. I am aware of all the spiritual doubts negativity towards spiritual people and its hard to not be affected by others doubts and complaints. Before I didnt notice it all just focusing on myself.

Ive just been told off by someone and Im confused. I know you like to discuss Dharma so I hope you can give me good advice.
I live at a Buddhist community and I was seeking discussion on some things about how to meditate. I found a lot of people are working so not many are able to discuss. Anyway I got told off because I said "Isnt the whole point of living together is so that we can discuss together?" and this senior person turned around and said no the whole point of the Buddhist community is to benefit all beings. I feel like I developed a desire to discuss Dharma and was flattened for doing so. I feel like Im being told that the emphasis should now be on external development and that to do study and meditation is taking time away from that task and only developing oneself is selfish. But why write all these books of teachings if we are just supposed to work and will be told off if we want to discuss their contents.  Is it wrong to want to discuss Dharma?

Another point on this is that it becomes easy to become very intolerant. Whereas before we accepted people as they are now we get displeased with people for having human emotions almost. Our standard and expectation becomes much higher making our level of tolerance and acceptance much lower. I know your teacher in his classes takes the mickey out of all these silly conclusions we draw so I would like to know what he says about when these sort of things develop.

I feel like this will all make sense when I understand what grasping is but Im a long way off from that. Somewhere in this is a clear image of how grasping minds function and develop but I cant see that yet.

Im not at Kechara Im with another Buddhist tradition. However I have begun voluntary work for my Dharma community and the experiences I am having are a bit baffling. Since you all study Gelugpa teachings also Im wondering if you see any of this and what your Teachers opinion of these things are.

In Gelugpa it seems that the Teacher has the authority on all topics, therefore where I work Im finding that noone seems capable of making any decisions. If you ask someone to make a simple decision like about if you can photocopy one piece of paper they will tell you you need authorisation or to check with someone very senior. This makes it so simple jobs become very long winded. Every manager says that someone on a higher rung needs to make the decision. Also many of the people are very highly strung because this strategy is making their own jobs far more work then they need to be. Even small jobs are very difficult.
There is also a very strange dillemma of being Mahayanists and welcoming everyone to the centre and telling them that it is their centre and their home- and then having to lock everything up so people dont borrow things, abuse internet useage and nothing is stolen by visitors who are not so spiritual.

How do you deal with these circumstances?

Also do you feel that Dharma can make you more highly strung? For example, when your heart is closed and you are in your shell avoiding everything your temperament is stable. But then when you decide to open yourself up and take on difficulties all your emotions will manifest, the emotions you avoid by hiding away. And sometimes it is easy to become much more shocked by anger than worldy people are. As well in meditation if you hear a loud noise you jump whereas normally you  dont its as if you become more sensitive and affected by things as you become less dull?

Online I think generally people talk in a way that they wouldnt face to face. Sometimes this is good but sometimes its bad. Ive seen lots of online communities some Buddhist & some non Buddhistand on the whole I think this forum the people are very good quality. Joey I think letting it all hang out and being 'wrathful' would cause the place to degenerate. All over the internet there are people who think they are helping each other by openly pointing out each others faults. They spend all day 'helping' someone to overcome their fault. Ive been online for over 15 years. Believe me the help never helps. Bad feeling grows between people, personality clashes, feuds simmering under the surface of the 'regulars' & the atmosphere becomes such that all the nice people leave. Then you are left with the people who like arguements & gossip & a low quality of conversations. I keep the manner of each forum in mind. If its a place of good manners I follow that. If I go to another forum & everyones arguing I might argue some. If you want to try these wrathful approaches do as I do & go to places with like minded people

Ive been thinking about this topic from another angle & want to ask peoples opinion. Lamrim is always saying that everything good comes from love & that bad comes from the selfish mind. So I have been trying to love love & and love. But then I encountered something strange. It seemed that some practical situations I was getting obstacles because people werent loving ME! (Oh no is this self centred thinking??) So then I started to think what happens to an individual if they are not loved? When Lamrim says everything we have comes from others kindness it seems that we cannot survive without the kindness of others. If this is true of others its also true of me. Therefore I am totally depending on others to love me. And they are depending upon me to love them. Its like love is water & we are the land. Without love nothing grows.
When I was very ill a person held me in their arms & I felt myself getting stronger. Im feeling a yearning to be part of a community to get the group strength and to be like family instead of cut off. I dont know if this is being practical ie wanting to spend time with people who inspire & strengthen or if its self indulgent. I dont deprive myself of food I recognise I need certain things to be able to function well. What does Rinpoche say about such things?

Does your tradition have teachings on the 7 points of mind training by Geshe Chekawa?

In all actions I will examine my mind
and the moment a disturbing attitude arises,
endangering myself or others,
I will firmly confront and avert it.

Ok Im not greasy (well most of the time) but I need an action plan too.

I think the key is to recognise it endangers. If you think its just a thought so its not so important as behaving correctly is the most important thing, then your not realising the power of mental actions. Thoughts are what direct your life, one day a while back you had a moment where you developed a thought and that thought led you to spend however many years at Kekara house. You may think it was many thoughts. But the first thought led to the rest.

In the same way with one thought you can do an action & end up in completely different situation. Like prison or as an animal or heroin addict or married to a certain person or in a 30 year long career. They all start with one thought leading to others. We think thoughts have little effect but if we look at our lives with can see the fruits of all our good & bad ideas coming back to us.

If you dont recognise the danger of these minds when they arise you will feel like you are meeting a familiar friend not like you are in danger at all. If you feel fear the anger or attatchment will already be diminished in power just by that. Like a child who is afraid of throwing a tantrum because he fears being told off by his mother.

I started reading about debate & it seems like more of a study in pairs than a competition like a test or exam. The book im reading the challenger is saying things like I bet you cant define impermance or I bet you cant prove impermanence ie I bet you cant remember or havent grasped what Buddha taught. like two fellow student testing each others memory & understanding to make sure it is accurate

Sense awarenesses are conceptual? Hee hee

I had a very odd experience. I havent been able to be aware of sleeping for a long time. Then I heard this teaching 'Just breathe'. I concluded since going to sleep is becoming non conceptual surely the best way to be mindful is to as you try to go to sleep have the least conceptual thoughts you can. So I thought well focusing on sense awareness is ideal since sense awareness is not conceptual. So I just breathed. And it was an afternoon nap so dullness wasnt as strong as usual.

Lo & behold I was alert as a dreamt! The dreams werent like my waking mind. My dreams were a total cestpit of horrible behaviour visions deeds. It was shocking. Anyway most of the dreams I remember Im a human being. Its fixed, rigid, even if I say why are you a human? as I dream I still cant be anything else. Its a solid imputation. But in this dream my body was rippling like it was made of water. Like a belly dancer rolling their body in a rippling manouver. But I was still doing negative things! But I was aware thinking should I just watch the dream or try to control it. I didnt want to wake up so I just watched. I cant believe my mind does all those horrible things every night!

Ah great debate I am refuted & realised something new thankyou!

Ahh beautiful. I think I have too many pictures maybe!

You know you can post pictures here. Show your shrine if you like. Hee hee