What's influencing the mind

[spiritnoname]

 What we allow to busy our mind has a huge effect on our mood and view. We should protect our mind from things that bring about bad states like anger, jealousy, impatience, neediness for sense pleasures, unreasonable skepticism (the bad form of doubt).

 Lately I've been carelessly allowing bad influences into my mind by means of music. Not only were the lyrics unwholesome but the effect on my nervous system made me needy for heightened sense pleasures, and not having them I felt miserable.

 So now I am back to guarding my mind and my normal composure is coming back, the past few days were horrible for me, no where near a normal person's suffering but it really sucked for me.

 I thought I'd make a thread because this is really applicable to everyone but I think most people don't notice how important guarding the mind is.

[GonzoEnder]

I agree about music I've felt that way before. Some video's I uploaded lately were mainly for war protesting. I cry during the video and embolden my spiritual practices. But I would not worry or waste my time with it if I was on that level where it upset me. Ive had that happen maybe 1 or 2 times where I could SEE the effect of it on my body and mind. I thought oh, this is why monks don't listen to music. Report your findings to the billion people who have ipod's though... there's probably more ipods on earth than Buddhists.

[Joey]

What we allow to busy our mind has a huge effect on our mood and view. We should protect our mind from things that bring about bad states like anger, jealousy, impatience, neediness for sense pleasures, unreasonable skepticism (the bad form of doubt).

 Lately I've been carelessly allowing bad influences into my mind by means of music. Not only were the lyrics unwholesome but the effect on my nervous system made me needy for heightened sense pleasures, and not having them I felt miserable.

 So now I am back to guarding my mind and my normal composure is coming back, the past few days were horrible for me, no where near a normal person's suffering but it really sucked for me.

 I thought I'd make a thread because this is really applicable to everyone but I think most people don't notice how important guarding the mind is.

mind training anyone? i guess its time for you to get started on it.

[Zenji]

I can't wait until I get an opportunity to go to a monastery so that I can fully engage in training without distraction.  Until that day, I strive to be mindful of my attachments to sensory delight.

[spiritnoname]

 One thing that is easily overlooked as a source of bad influence is actually bad friends.


"These four, young householder, should be understood as foes in the guise of friends:
(1) he who appropriates a friend's possessions, (2) he who renders lip-service, (3) he who flatters, (4) he who brings ruin.



(2) "In four ways, young householder, should one who renders lip-service be understood as a foe in the guise of a friend:
(i) he makes friendly profession as regards the past, (ii) he makes friendly profession as regards the future, (iii) he tries to gain one's favor by empty words, (iv) when opportunity for service has arisen, he expresses his inability.

(3) "In four ways, young householder, should one who flatters be understood as a foe in the guise of a friend:
(i) he approves of his friend's evil deeds, (ii) he disapproves his friend's good deeds, (iii) he praises him in his presence, (iv) he speaks ill of him in his absence." - http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/dn/dn.31.0.nara.html

[Zenji]

This is where I get confused.

In one token, the "bad friends" you describe embody the qualities of the people that in the Eight Verses of Thought Transformation that we are supposed to hold dear...

"Whenever I meet a person of bad nature,
Overwhelmed by negative energy and intense suffering,
I will hold such a rare one dear
As if I’ve found a precious treasure.

When others out of jealousy,
Mistreat me with abuse, slander and so on,
I will practise accepting defeat
And offering the victory to them.

When someone I have benefited and in whom
I have placed great trust hurts me very badly,
I will practise seeing that person
As my supreme teacher."

So we are supposed to keep these people out of our lives, but yet treasure them and hold them close?  Where is the line?

[spiritnoname]

That advice was given by Buddha Shakyamuni to a common householder, 8 verses is a more serious training I think.

[Blueberry]

One thing that is easily overlooked as a source of bad influence is actually bad friends.


"These four, young householder, should be understood as foes in the guise of friends:
(1) he who appropriates a friend's possessions, (2) he who renders lip-service, (3) he who flatters, (4) he who brings ruin.



(2) "In four ways, young householder, should one who renders lip-service be understood as a foe in the guise of a friend:
(i) he makes friendly profession as regards the past, (ii) he makes friendly profession as regards the future, (iii) he tries to gain one's favor by empty words, (iv) when opportunity for service has arisen, he expresses his inability.

(3) "In four ways, young householder, should one who flatters be understood as a foe in the guise of a friend:
(i) he approves of his friend's evil deeds, (ii) he disapproves his friend's good deeds, (iii) he praises him in his presence, (iv) he speaks ill of him in his absence." - http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/dn/dn.31.0.nara.html

My question ya,  should we blame friends if we have untamed mind?

I think its not outer aspect that influence the mind.. its our karma does effects in the way our mind behave

Eh Joey.. whenever you get the karma chart which Rinpoche explained on Tsongkhapa day then do circulate ya
thanks

[GonzoEnder]

I get the feeling sometimes I'm the precious one to hold dear. Then I think about how that's just my leftover bad tendencies which have not yet been purified. Not only in this lifetime but countless lifetimes, which I say firmly, will become pure. Then... I'm not so bad... nowhere in my mind is any rejoice in negativity. I will become pure and even be extremely beneficial to those who used to be like me because I will have gone through it all and can skillfully guide them out of their misery. There's good motivation for me, right there, to be pure and cut my negative habituation. hmm... hmm...

[Joey]

I get the feeling sometimes I'm the precious one to hold dear. Then I think about how that's just my leftover bad tendencies which have not yet been purified. Not only in this lifetime but countless lifetimes, which I say firmly, will become pure. Then... I'm not so bad... nowhere in my mind is any rejoice in negativity. I will become pure and even be extremely beneficial to those who used to be like me because I will have gone through it all and can skillfully guide them out of their misery. There's good motivation for me, right there, to be pure and cut my negative habituation. hmm... hmm...

motivation without action is the same as no motivation at all.

[waybackhome83]

Hi Zenji,

You ask, "So we are supposed to keep these people out of our lives, but yet treasure them and hold them close?  Where is the line?"

I don't think it is a case of keeping negative-natured, jealous, or deceitful people out of our lives, but rather to accept these people for the way they are, but guarding ourselves against judging them and being thankful for our ability to transcend these things (if we are able), or mindful that we too can sometimes display these negative attributes, and therefore guard ourselves against judging these people.

During our practice, these kinds of people are to be treasured.  Do you love people who are kind, unassuming, courteous, compassionate and sincere?  Of course, who doesn't?!  However, where can we develop ourselves from this situation?  It is easy to be compassionate towards such people.
On the other hand, it is incredibly difficult to be compassionate towards people we may not like, such as jealous, egotistical, or negative people.  It is in this sense that they are to be treasured, because they provide us with the best opportunity to develop our virtues - especially those who we are kind towards, who then deceive us in return!  These are our greatest teachers, why?  Because when these people deceive us, it becomes harder to be compassionate towards them, therefore we have to try harder, and therefore we further develop the virtues that these people have tested.

Perhaps it is important to recognise "foes in the guise of friends" in order that we can guard against them bringing harm to us, and also as a preventative measure so that we can carefully listen to their words and watch their actions.  But overall, I would say that these foes are to be used to learn from.  It would certainly be difficult to keep people with negative attributes out of our lives - who among us are perfect?

Kind regards,
Sandy

[Joey]

This is where I get confused.

In one token, the "bad friends" you describe embody the qualities of the people that in the Eight Verses of Thought Transformation that we are supposed to hold dear...

"Whenever I meet a person of bad nature,
Overwhelmed by negative energy and intense suffering,
I will hold such a rare one dear
As if I’ve found a precious treasure.

When others out of jealousy,
Mistreat me with abuse, slander and so on,
I will practise accepting defeat
And offering the victory to them.

When someone I have benefited and in whom
I have placed great trust hurts me very badly,
I will practise seeing that person
As my supreme teacher."

So we are supposed to keep these people out of our lives, but yet treasure them and hold them close?  Where is the line?

you need to be able to be immune from their bad influence first before you can hold them close. Meaning that your mind has to reach that level of stability.

[wmw111]

If we have karma to meet negative people and situations no way you can escape it unless one purifies the causes first.

Though if we become ordained then , the robes do in a way it does alert others to the fact that we want to be spiritual , and please try not to influence us negatively, plus as a monk holding  one's vows and meditating ( esp on reality )then he or she will purify a lot of negativity .  Of course there will be others who might think its a challenge to turn someone away from the path also . So might be more skillful to learn methods on how to deal with all kinds of beings without being turned off the path