PEACE

[Blueberry]

"When we face our mistakes, that mistakes will be removed and it will then be replaced with wisdom"

Page 182:  Sometime when we admit our mistake, ppl may react negatively to us. We may wonder why they aer still being nasty to us even though we have already face up to our mistakes and confessed them
That is not the point. The confessions is not about how they react to you. Its  about you facing up to what you have done out of your anger, hatred, jealousy or desire.

What does it mean?

[waybackhome83]

Hey Blueberry,

I'm reading Peace at the moment - wonderful book; really inspires you to look within, you know?  Challenge your perceptions of yourself and others.

Usually when we make mistakes out of anger, jealousy or hatred, we justify our actions.  "Yes I did this or that, but only because I was angry at this thing or this person".  We rarely "back down", and even when we know within ourselves that what we did was wrong, we can still find some justification for what we did, as view it as being right.

However, when we admit we are wrong, when we sincerely regret the actions that came from these negative emotions, we face ourselves.  We take responsibility for ourselves and we hold ourselves accountable for our actions.  As a result of this, we acknowledge the consequences, the harm our actions bring to others and ourselves.  When we stop running away from the situation (i.e. justifying our actions), from there wisdom is born.

When people react badly to our confessions, we become frustrated or upset.  Surely they should forgive us, right?  That's not for us to expect.  How they deal with you is their business, and if we have hurt people in some way, there's no guarantee that a confession/apology will bring a positive reaction.

But it's not about their reaction.  You can't control how they feel, or what they think.  However, by facing up to what you have done, by admitting your mistakes, you take the first step that many don't: you take ownership, responsibility for your actions and in doing this, you really learn to chip away at the negative actions and become more mindful of the consequences that your actions have - therefore, you eventually stop making the same or similar mistakes.

By not admitting mistakes, by not taking responsibility, how can we recognise that we are making mistakes?  It's impossible to be wrong when you think you are right. 

In the end, your practice is about your own self development, it's not about anyone else.  Admitting your mistakes is not about getting forgiveness from others; it's about taking the steps necessary to wake up to yourself.

Hope this helps! (Moreso, I hope it's accurate...)

Kind regards,
Sandy

[Blueberry]

What i encountered many times ya... One wud keep searching forgiveness else they wont feel relief
(why so?)
And ironically the one who should accept apology seem wanna "punish" them..
I sometime feel so helpless in such situation..
Pity to one who made mistake but also furious to one who even not answer the call...
 

[Blueberry]

hi Sandy, you posted as follow:

Admitting your mistakes is not about getting forgiveness from others; it's about taking the steps necessary to wake up to yourself.

Admitting mistakes and change it to progress hence we take it as  self forgiven...how?
how we forgive ourselves while others yet to accept us?
Its like ex convict when release from prisoner while society not accept him... he may not survive

[wmw111]

Rice has turned into porridge most of the time , can't undo the action.
People will not forgive us, or if they do forgive they will never forget.
By them not forgetting if you used to steal, then u met your lama , you transform you stop stealing , the person whom you stole from , when you meet them again if they are not aware you don't steal anymore will still be wary of you even if they have forgiven you.

But not every apology will be forgiven thats a fact . But if we confess and come out with it, we are at least accepting who we are. We are a monster.
By accepting the reality or truth of who we are, it is first step for us to change , and not do it again. Even if someone does not forgive you can still change right? But we need to real to ourselves like the latest article from lam rim and life in KNN.
http://www.kechara.com/articles_view.php?a=2010_8&p=74
If we are not even REAL or TRUTHFUL , change within us is not possible. For us to ever change others opinion of us ( if we want that) , we need to change ourselves first.