Push yourself

[studyreligions]

"When someone tells you something you don't like, push yourself to listen, push yourself to open, push yourself to change your habit of closing people out. When you come across a difficult situation, don't run. If you have run, go back to it, apologize and make up for it. Don't run and keep quiet. That's an offering to the Buddha." - HE Tsem Tulku Rinpoche

In light of recent events on this forum, I decided to post this quote by Tsem Rinpoche. I just so happen to be reviewing the clip of "don't embarrass the Buddha" on youtube and Rinpoche said this.

This is not directed to anybody on this forum. I have just found that it could possible help all of us to push ourselves face difficult situations when people say something we don't like. Whether it be challenging our gurus, saying harsh words, accusing us of doing something wrong, giving wrong advice or in the wrong manner in not the best form for the situation, or not even giving us a chance to respond.

I think the offerings of water, butterlamps, flowers, rituals are most excellent and are so very beneficial. But, in my humble opinion, actually practicing the Dharma as taught by our teachers in difficult situations is the best form of guru devotion and as an offering to the Buddhas, and the recent developments on the form give us a great opportunity to practice the Dharma and offer it to our gurus and Buddhas.

One more great quote!

"When someone shouts at you, when someone scolds you, when someone is rude to you, when someone has abused you or is hurting you, when someone doesn't agree with you or opposes you - that is when you practise the Dharma."
 
 
-H.E. Tsem Tulku Rinpoche

[Kaivalyananda]

One more great quote!

"When someone shouts at you, when someone scolds you, when someone is rude to you, when someone has abused you or is hurting you, when someone doesn't agree with you or opposes you - that is when you practise the Dharma."
-H.E. Tsem Tulku Rinpoche

I agree. It is at this point that it is useful to recall when we were rude to another; how did we feel? Did we feel happy? Equanimous? Loving? I would say, No. Most likely we felt tortured, unhappy, put upon. In other words, we were suffering. If one is feeling happy, how hard is it to abuse another? Is it even possible? So, if we remember what the other is feeling, we can have compassion for them. The abuser is in even greater pain than the abused...if the abused stays aware and compassionate. If, on the other hand, one falls into the victim trap, then one sinks to a personal "hell" that is even deeper than that of the abuser. From this position, neither rises.

I once heard, "It is easy to be mindful, it is hard to REMEMBER to be mindful." So, if your life was at stake, or the life of a loved one, what would you do to make sure you remembered? I've worn string tied around my finger and when someone asks me what I forgot, I say, "Thank you. You've reminded me that I want to accept you exactly as you are without any judgment." Or, "Thank you. You've reminded me to be more loving." This usually opens a path for conversation about the Dharma.

Just an idea... May these words be of benefit.

[Joey]

it's a wonderfully simple tool to allow us to check our ego: if someone tells us off, are we angry? or do we feel grateful that someone points out our mistakes?

according to Rinpoche, the bigger your reaction to being told off or to harsh words, the bigger your ego is.

[ketchup]

Thank goodness there are 'irritating' beings around us - so we can practice dharma.  We just need to remember how to practice.  We just need to meditate daily on this.

[Joey]

Thank goodness there are 'irritating' beings around us - so we can practice dharma.  We just need to remember how to practice.  We just need to meditate daily on this.

its just rehabituation -- like getting used to a new job and work environment. or a new routine.

[GonzoEnder]

I hate my ego It's such a liar always pushing stupid thoughts into my head. I am feeling very frustrated with it so I wrote this poem type deal.

We break our attachments to attack it.
We meditate to attack it.
We do mantra's to attack it.
We get knowledge to attack it.

We lie to defend it.
We cheat to defend it.
We become paranoid.
We feel guilty because of it's unwanted presence.

Fear feeds it.
Anger feeds it.
Sadness feeds it.
Aversion feeds it.

I want more and more food and drink until my stomach bursts.
I will hurt anyone even my own mother in some cases to keep it satisfied.
I will kill anything to keep it satisfied.
A mountain of gold will not appease it.

Nothing is ever enough for it.
If I control one kingdom, I want two.
If two, I want four.

It makes me sick inside.
It makes me cry.
It makes me angry.

It must be destroyed forever.
May we all accomplish this and break free immediately.

[Joey]

I hate my ego It's such a liar always pushing stupid thoughts into my head. I am feeling very frustrated with it so I wrote this poem type deal.

We break our attachments to attack it.
We meditate to attack it.
We do mantra's to attack it.
We get knowledge to attack it.

We lie to defend it.
We cheat to defend it.
We become paranoid.
We feel guilty because of it's unwanted presence.

Fear feeds it.
Anger feeds it.
Sadness feeds it.
Aversion feeds it.

I want more and more food and drink until my stomach bursts.
I will hurt anyone even my own mother in some cases to keep it satisfied.
I will kill anything to keep it satisfied.
A mountain of gold will not appease it.

Nothing is ever enough for it.
If I control one kingdom, I want two.
If two, I want four.

It makes me sick inside.
It makes me cry.
It makes me angry.

It must be destroyed forever.
May we all accomplish this and break free immediately.

I usually debate with that voice and since it is based on wrong views it always loses. If not i just listen to more of Rinpoche's talks, contemplate on them and i know how to answer those sneaky voices.

[Kaivalyananda]

To hate anything is of the ego. It is your ego inflating itself through a reverse method. Hate (aversion) causes one to go deep into the delusion. Since one KNOWS that the mind lies, why choose to believe it? If your undirected thoughts could take human form, would you believe a word that form would say? I sure wouldn't! My mind has lied to me so often that all thoughts are considered to be a lie until proven otherwise. In this way, I am not trapped in the lie they tell. Instead, I am able to "stand aside" or put a little space around them - after all, why do anything about something as obviously impermanent as a thought? After one has a little space around the thought, one can then choose whether this or that thought has merit, and then do something about it.

Yes, it takes a great deal of awareness to reach a point of being able to place that space between the thought and the reaction, but it can be done, and THAT is one of the primary benefits of meditation. To consider meditation as an "attack" is to generate confusion in the mind...and the mind already has plenty of confusion to go around. However, if one considers meditation as an opportunity to learn to see what is truth from what is false, then one slowly trains oneself to see the ego for what it is, a tool that we allowed to run out of control. No need for aversion. It is like a child who remains a two year old and never grows up. Or perhaps, more like a 15 year old who believes he knows everything. My grandfather used to say, "If people only knew at 50 what they thought they knew at 15, the world would be full of wise men!" Instead we have a world full of 50 year old adolescents.

May these words benefit. As always, I offer them as a musician offers the music or a flower offers it's scent. If they serve you, make use of them, otherwise consider them the ramblings of a deluded mind and ignore them. Please don't apply your effort to TAKE offense...I've found that it's never worth the waste of energy.

[GonzoEnder]

Thanks for that, Kaivalyananda. I must confess, though, I intended for the poem to sound as aggressive as possible. Aggressive like a wrathful Buddha for example. As we know they look VERY ticked off but it is not real anger, or an attack, rather it is simply confronting the problem from the most 'energetic' point of view possible. I did not use the word "attack" in the sense that there is something solidly wrong with me that needs to be beaten out!

What I meant, more specifically is ATTACK the laziness, attack the part of you that CHOOSES to ignore Dharma. Attack the part of you that won't stand aside and let thoughts arise without constantly acting like its your 'fault'.

You get the idea, friend.

Hey I still want to buy you a tea or coffee sometime when you come through Salem. Don't forget me
Later, Kai. (Can we call you Kai?)

-Josh Akers
AKA: GonzoEnder

[Kaivalyananda]

Namaste, Josh,

Yes, Kai is the name I go by. Thank you for replying so eloquently and completely. I thought that might be the case, however, I always choose to write on boards such as these with newbies in mind. Many times, my reply is not actually intended for the poster as much as it is for the new student just entering the path. I once heard a respected teacher say that the Dharma - to be true Dharma - should be easy to understand and easy to practice. I don't know if that is completely true, but having taught beginners for many years, I have found that it does help keep more folks walking the path.

So, for future reference (any who might read my words), please note that if I over-explain or repeat myself in different ways, most times I know that the person I am replying to likely already knows the information but not all future readers will. I write for them as well.

I will likely be heading through Salem in two or three weeks. I'll let you know when I plan to come through and perhaps we can meet up. That would be enjoyable. 

[GonzoEnder]

Cool. Let me know for sure.