Aversion to praise

[SharpPudding]

 I notice nothing distorts my view quite like praise. I don't get praised too often, so it really stands out and worries me. All my experience with detecting dangerous distortions tells me this is a serious risk, a huge blind spot, a samsaric hook lodged deep in me that I could be led around by and needs to be pulled out as fast as possible.

 If someone compliments me, then I feel the winds change in the body, I become a little nicer, I lose my impartiality in regard to what I'm saying, I sugar coat things, I avoid saying the truth if it is unpleasing to those that praised me. I will have a hard time telling someone off, if I was a police officer or judge this would be the height of corruption, definitely it's corrupt for a sincere practitioner.

[Joey]

analyze what is in praise and why do you like them how and why it affects you. then work something out from there.

[temugen]

I think that awareness of this blind-spot is a crucial first step in dealing with the minds attachment to praise. Years ago before I began to diffuse my own need for others approval, I was controlled as easily as pushing a button, and I encountered a number of  dysfunctional relationships  in which people would push it.
In order to diffuse your attachment to praise and bring it more into conscious awareness, you might try to Keep a journal specifically regarding this issue.
Every time you encounter praise,  note when, where and how you reacted to the praise. Also note any time you find yourself seeking it out; anything regarding the issue.
As your awareness grows you can begin more effectively dealing with behaviors, mental processes, etc…  
Good luck and many blessings

[SharpPudding]

  Hmm,. I don't think I'll use a notebook, but I will remember and try to figure this out. I notice that it's praise about particular things, not everything, seems to have to do with what I take pride in. If people complimented my feet I wouldn't care at all, but if people complimented something I wrote and I put a lot of effort into being knowledgeable about then I'd notice a big change in how I see things and act.

[temugen]

After thinking about this topic today I found  some good  meditational material concerning it.
The 6th chapter of the Way of the Bodhisattva by Shantideva.
 Verse  6.98
Praise and compliments disturb me,
Sapping my revulsion with samsara.
I start to covet others qualities,
And thus  all excellence degenerates.
I will provide Pema Chodrons  commentary on the  passage as well.


Shantideva  concludes this section with three reasons  why its futile to continually seek confirmation. First, we become dependant on praise and compliments, relying on the whims of other people’s opinions to feel good about ourselves.  Second, too much admiration saps our revulsion with samsara. If we do manage to become esteemed and respected, we might start believing this feel good state is equivalent to lasting  happiness. We might kid ourselves into thinking we don’t have  anymore foibles to work on, not even humility.  Third, our envy of others good qualities increases. We may think we no longer need compliments, but watch out! When the praise we’ve gotten used to goes to someone else, envy can kick in. This is a warning sign alerting us to a blind spot.
                                                           ...Hope that’s helpful 

[temugen]

 Hmm,. I don't think I'll use a notebook
The afflicted part of our mind is an elusive creature when it comes forcing it into the light of awareness. It has many defenses that it uses to hide .  A notebook Is just a first step.If you  are diligent, honest and persevering,  its a tool that  can aid you in catching your ego. Good luck.

[SharpPudding]

Hmm,.. I never really have read anything of Pema Chodron's, her commentary is useful I think.

 So glad I'm not the only one that puts effort into finding useful passages!

[Joey]

see if the pride leads anywhere. as long as it dosent slacken your efforts there isnt much trouble with it.

After all, praise and blame are just words.

[temugen]

 

see if the pride leads anywhere. as long as it doesn’t slacken your efforts there isn’t much trouble with it.
After all, praise and blame are just words.

I think I see what your saying.   Our minds often contain many negative introjects. Where there is positive potential try fostering it  and see where it leads.

[Joey]

see if the pride leads anywhere. as long as it doesn’t slacken your efforts there isn’t much trouble with it.
After all, praise and blame are just words.

I think I see what your saying.   Our minds often contain many negative interjects. Where there is positive potential try fostering it  and see where it leads.

Correct!

It's not the praise itself that is negative, but how we react to it.