When to interfere?

[lola152]

How and when to know if one should interfere in interpersonal relationships?
I was asking this question to a lot of non-Buddhist friends, and more or less everyone seams to agree that staying
out of other people"s problem is the best and the safest way. The messanger usually gets shot.

I am not so sure about this.

If, for example, I know that a person is constantly cheating on his or her friend/husband/wife, do I do something about it?
I am dwelling on this matter for a while but it has not yet dawn on me.

If I try to follow the Buddhist doctrine on compassion, trying to stop a person in doing negative actions is a good thing, no?
But on the other hand, who am I to play "god" and to decide on weather truth should be uncovered...?
Maybe I will mess up the relationship all together. It will surely bring about a lot of suffering.

I just can not get to the bottom of this!

What do you think about this?
What should a buddhist do, when do we react and when do we just let things be?

[wmw111]

Helping period in samsara is a risky business, most of the time you get burnt.

But all the same if we want to help people we must be willing to face the karma that we already have collected, it just so happen it comes up during the time as we are trying to help someone. There are exceptions naturally. If you want to help others, sometimes you must even be willing to lose a friend or part with them. But you must be very clear about your own motive that is essential.

You can't interfere in terms of telling the person who does not know, what your friend is doing. But you can probably speak to your friend in this case.

[lola152]

Yes, you really got to the bottom of it...
It seams so simply serene, making me wonder how I didn"t see it myself in that way.

To be honest, I think my motivation is not so clear. I care more for the person that is being cheated, so I am in
risk of influencing the situation in my behalf.
I think I will have to first work on that.
Simple as that.

Oh this samsara, what a madhouse, may I defeat the dillussion for the sake of my fellow beings!

Thank you for your answer, it is very helpful and much appreciated.